The concept of God has always been a controversial one. I often wonder why. For some it is an easy thing to accept whereas for others it quite is not. For me it is not. Why? Why cant I accept that there is a God? Maybe I do. Well the truth is I dont really know.
I am a firm believer in destiny. I believe that destiny can be controlled and it is something that I have control over. I have always lived my life the way I have wanted to and hence I strongly believe that I am the creator of my destiny. I also believe that I have been put here for a purpose. Now that is something that I am yet to figure out. My purpose. I know that I am not the kind who is going to make some significant contribution to the world or something. Lets just leave that to the brainy ones and the ones who truly believe that they can make a difference. I know I am not cut out for it. I just want to lead a good life, I tell myself.
Well then why is it that I dont believe in God. Does that make me an aethesit? I am not too sure. I know there is something that is bigger than me. Something that "allows" me to write my destiny and ultimately will lead me to fulfill my purpose, whatever that is. Do you want to call that GOD? Well. Maybe it is, maybe it really isnt.
For me, God is definately not in the idol that I worship. I grew up listening to the same stories that everyone does. Stories of Krishna and Shiva. Stories of Jesus and Allah. These remained to be just stories for me. Somehow it never affected my relegious faith or whatever. It never even struck me for an instant that I was from a different relegion as my friend. If this thought could have been planted in my head then I am sure that it could have been planted in a million other heads too.
A strange thing happened to me once. Somehow I feel an intense connection with churches. There is this church that I go to. I go to this church when I am in the lowest point of my life. When I feel all is lost and I just need things to be right. I sit at the church and just talk to myself and at the end of it I wish for something to happen. Contrary to whatever reservations I have about the existance of God and everything, I got my wish EVERY single time. Did I pray at the church, NO. Did I believe in Christianity? NO. I just needed to lift my spirits. I guess this is what the term miracle means.
This is turning out to sound confused isnt it? First I say no god. Then I say yeah maybe there is...miracles. The truth of it is that I have something that I believe in. Whether that belief is what I would call faith in God or myself or destiny - I still dont know. There are times when not knowing things in itself clears out confusion and things seem clearer. Maybe, just maybe this is one of those times.
2 comments:
God is not about religion, its just as you said a belief, a belief that there is someone who can take care of me and he has some kind of power and that power is what people believe in. All these religions and the different place of worship are man made they are not going to last forever but the belief is going to be with the human world. Good post, keep it up!!!
thanks!!! thats pretty good insight.. but i believe that u can pretty much take care of yourself!! lol.. anyways its a matter of personal choice i guess, and like i said this is a pretty confusing topic!!
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