Obsessions

There are things that i sometimes wonder a lot about. Things that are totally abstract. Things that are absolutely crazy and things that are totally random. Then i wonder why i wonder about those things. And i confuse myself up. Like how I am doing right now.

The fact is this, I love thinking. However randomly, abstractly or crazily... I love the fact that my mind is alive and kicking. And better still, I love the fact that I can write all of this down. I can come back and relive those crazy things that I thought about. Chuck all the modesty. I love what I write. More importantly I love the way I think. Yes, I am self obssessed. But is that wrong? Isn't everyone? I have no issues admitting that I am self obsessed. By self obsessed I dont mean that I look in the mirror every two minutes. Nope thats not me at all. I am obsessed in a different way. I love writing my name over and over. I could write my name hundreds of times and fill thousands of pages and still not get bored. I can go on and on. I used to do that a lot back in college. Write my name on any bit of paper that I could find. In the back of notebooks, textbooks, exam papers. Absolutely everywhere.

You think I am crazy? Well everybody who saw me indulge in this weird habit of mine thought i was mental as well. And I was asked why I do it. I never had a clue. Although the habit seems to have mellowed down a bit, I still dont have a clue as to why I do it.

Another one of my indulgences is tearing bits of paper into even tinier bits. I could do this for like forever. A nice bit of paper in my hands would be in complete shreds in a matter of minutes. I'd tear it into tiny bits and tear those tiny bits into even tinier bits. And the best part would be that i'd gather up all these bits of paper and bolow it on the face of the person that sits closest to me. God, thats real fun!!

Habit number three. Sitting in darkness. Well I guess people would really love that and a lot of people would sit in darkness. Me? I loved the darkness in my place so much that when the bulb burned out, I dint get a new one for three weeks. Ultimately after the risk of my brother almost breaking his leg; I had to give into parental pressure and get a light in my room. Now there is a tube in my room that burns so bright, my eyes hurt... UGH!!!

Ever found a place which you thought was the best place on earth? One that you could virtually live in for hours?? I have two such places. First is my bathroom. Although its the size of a cupboard and there is virtually nothing in there except the closet and a bit of soap, I louve my bathroom. I do almost everything there apart from the obvious. I read the newspaper there, I sometimes drink my coffee there, I read my magazines there, I used to cram in there when it was exam time, hoping I would fall sick. Some of my best writings have been in the bathroom.
My bed comes a close second. This is again a place where I can do everything. Yes I sleep on it too. I eat on my bed, I sleep on my bed, I walk on my bed. I write on my bed, I read on my bed, Oh and did I say I sleep on my bed?? Ahhhhh.. Bliss...

Normalcy has always had me thinking. Does it exist? Is everyone the same? Just imagine how boring that would be!!!! I love me the way I am. Like the dialogue of a recent movie, Main apni favorite hoon. Tall claims like selflessness and normalcy are a farce. Everyone is different, everyone is crazy. So am I. Only I have no problems admitting it. Do you????